he Goldiggers Band is shown in this rare 2009 newspaper photograph of their triumphant performance at the all-women’s “Dirty Thirty” 30K race in Gilpin County’s Golden Gate State Park.  They cannot afford long pants because of the very low wages granted such outdoor musical talent by an unappreciative public.  Their fervent appearance of eagerness is because someone spilled a drink in the front row of the “crowd,” and each is hopeful of reaching it before the wildlife or wait staff mops it up.  The black buckets were meant as silent protest over their negotiated price for the performance: $4 per musician, minus whatever they drink. They can get ugly (as any blind man can plainly see), so please tip generously so they can afford cosmetic surgery.

 Two members of the group are alums from the most famous unknown CSU college band “Duct-tape Cadillac”.  After failing to graduate, they enjoyed notable success as a bar band in the southwest until the wheels fell off.  The third is an illegal émigré from legal troupes, Burden of Spoof and The Law Club-- until his audience fell off. 

Each of them spent a part of the 1970s playing in war-torn foreign lands like Vietnam, where they fiddled while others did the real work of whatever it was we did over there.  Inventor, scientist and sailor Ted Morrow writes music, expounds on stuff, sings pretty good, and plays a rocking lead guitar.  Artist, master cabinet maker and door-gunner Kit Levey drums, zones out picturesquely, and sings when it’s Motown.  “Airborne” Freddy R (not his real name) plays bass and can remember the lyrics to many parody pieces written by his betters.  There are many.   

This loveable trio has performed in bars, grills, parks, hotels, casinos, law firms, courtrooms, weddings, family picnics and people’s houses when they’re out of town.  Their most memorable band names have been The Monikers, Jehovah’s Waitress Protection Program, Redneck Butlers, Houseband, Gregory Hardrock Goldiggers, and Miner Menace.  If you have any ideas, share them and put them out of their misery. 

They have a new CD out called “Swine Flu” with 17 tracks of their material.  For only $17, tax and shipping included, their friendly off-shore staff will rush you a collectors’ edition copy from their commodious offices at:

The Goldiggers
Box 398
Central City, CO 80427-0398

Check it out, catch a sample of swine flu and their patented new drink, The Flu Shot, at www.Show-Ti.me.  That's here, in case you didn't know.